The culture surrounding marriage and provision in China places immense financial and social burdens on men, a fact keenly observed by experts and reporters alike.

The traditional expectation that men must be the primary breadwinners, capable of providing a house and a car, persists, creating high-stakes pressure in their search for a lifelong partner.

This pressure is exacerbated by a severe gender imbalance, particularly in the prime marriage age bracket (20 to 40), where the male population exceeds the female by a staggering 17.5 million.

Statistically, for every 100 single women, there are 109 single men, meaning roughly nine men in every 100 will likely remain without a partner—a scarcity that dramatically raises the financial bar for courtship.

The pressure is further institutionalized by the practice of Cai Li (bride price or gift), requiring men to bestow substantial gifts upon the woman’s family before marriage can proceed.

Experts believe this intense pressure to provide—to meet the soaring financial expectations of a partner—may have been a catastrophic contributing factor in the case of a young gamer whose tragic passing recently erupted across Chinese social media.

The case centered on 21-year-old Lu Jiao, known to the vast online community as “Fat Cat” (Pang Mao).

Born in Hunan province in 2003, Lu Jiao was an early adopter of the burgeoning technology and internet culture in China.

The King of the Boosters

In 2015, Lu Jiao found his calling and his income source in the massively popular multiplayer online battle arena (MOBA) game, Honor of Kings.

As the game grew to boast over 100 million active users, Lu Jiao carved out a niche for himself as a “booster.”

Boosters are players who are paid by others to level up their accounts or characters, allowing the clients to skip the grind and achieve higher ranks.

According to his sister, Lu Jiao maintained 36 accounts to manage his growing clientele, earning roughly $3 per game, which provided a steady income.

Though his life was quiet, lacking a large social circle or traditional social life, his family was content that he was earning an honest living.

The private life of Lu Jiao, however, was violently exposed in April 2024 when his body was recovered from the Yangtze River, twelve days after he jumped to his de@th.

Authorities quickly ruled the de@th a voluntary self-harm act based on CCTV footage, and his body was swiftly cremated on May 3.

But a week later, the name “Fat Cat” dominated social media when his sister revealed information retrieved from her brother’s phone.

The public quickly realized that Lu Jiao’s despair was not rooted in internet isolation, but in a profound emotional betrayal by a woman.

The Secret Love and the Financial Sacrifice

The 21-year-old gamer was in a long-distance relationship with a 26-year-old woman named Tan Zhu, whom he had met on Honor of Kings in 2022.

In keeping with deep-rooted cultural expectations, and despite being younger than his girlfriend, Lu Jiao assumed the role of the devoted financial provider.

His generosity to Tan Zhu was staggering, funding everything from her simple necessities and birthday gifts to rent for her apartment and expenses for her international travels.

Lu Jiao even bankrolled the capital for Tan Zhu to open her own flower business, essentially granting her every wish—a devotion his family later described as manipulation by Tan Zhu.

While some initially admired the depth of his commitment, his family revealed a dark truth: Lu Jiao was not wealthy. His sole income was derived from the unrelenting, solitary labor of gaming.

To fund Tan Zhu’s lavish lifestyle, Lu Jiao subjected himself to extreme deprivation.

His sister revealed that while Tan Zhu enjoyed comfortable living and expensive meals, Lu Jiao spent a meager $8 (PHP480) per month on food for himself.

He often posted longing social media messages about wanting simple pleasures, like McDonald’s takeout, but always prioritized saving money to prove to Tan Zhu and her family that he was capable of being a reliable provider.

This self-imposed sacrifice was driven by one goal: his fervent desire to marry his 26-year-old girlfriend.

They had reportedly planned to marry before the end of the year. However, in April 2024, Tan Zhu changed her mind and unilaterally en@ded the relationship via a simple text message.

The devastated gamer immediately traveled to Chongqing, determined to speak with his ex-fiancée in person, begging for a second chance and offering to move in with her.

His plea for reconciliation and a shared future was firmly rejected.

Before he tragically took his own life on the bridge, Lu Jiao accessed his bank account and transferred a final, large sum of money—4 million RMB (approx. PHP32 million) in total—to Tan Zhu.

The Social Media Inferno and Public Fury

The revelation of Lu Jiao’s immense financial sacrifice and final, desperate act—combined with the evidence of his meager personal spending—ignited a massive firestorm across Chinese social media.

Public fury was immediately directed at Tan Zhu, who was branded a manipulative “gold digger.”

Under relentless scrutiny and public pressure, Tan Zhu eventually appeared on a live stream on May 4, offering what the public perceived as a cold and insincere apology.

Her appearance, including her attire and body language, was scrutinized and fiercely condemned, further fueling the widespread rage.

In her defense, Tan Zhu attempted to frame their bond not as a conventional romance, but as a “long-distance relationship” that suffered from a lack of “emotional support” from the gamer, which she claimed was the true reason for the split.

She later appeared in a subsequent live stream, presenting a medical certificate that indicated she had been admitted to a psychiatric department multiple times for “moderate depression.”

Crucially, she announced that she had returned 1.1 million RMB to Lu Jiao’s parents—the funds she intended to use for her business—and urged them to sign a settlement agreement.

The public, however, remained unconvinced by her performance, which lacked any discernible signs of genuine remorse or sadness.

The outrage intensified after videos of Tan Zhu dancing, filmed during the period when Lu Jiao was still missing, were circulated online.

The gamer’s friends and sister accused Tan Zhu of playing with Lu Jiao’s affections, claiming she never truly loved him and used him purely for financial gain.

While some experts and friends agreed that financial anxiety—compounded by the loss of his main income stream (gaming customers had slowed down)—and the heartbreak were the likely factors that pushed him to self-harm, the public remained focused on Tan Zhu.

In a poignant tribute to the gamer who starved himself for love, internet users began ordering takeout meals—especially McDonald’s—and delivering them to the bridge where he jumped, a powerful gesture honoring his self-denial.

The Unresolved Legal Battle

The massive public display of sympathy eventually led to the termination of several delivery employees and the closure of some restaurants involved in delivery fraud (sending empty bags).

Despite calls from Lu Jiao’s sister to stop the mass food orders, the tributes, including flowers and “Fat Cat” avatars displayed on Times Square screens in New York, continued.

As of the latest reports, while public sentiment is vehemently against Tan Zhu, Chinese authorities continue their investigation.

They are scrutinizing the evidence to determine if Tan Zhu committed the crime of fraud or deliberate deception—a legal requirement to file criminal charges against her.

Lu Jiao’s de@th remains a stark, painful indictment of the cultural and financial pressures placed on young men in China and the devastating consequences of emotional exploitation in an unbalanced society.